When it comes to the “big C,” the “C” could just as easily stand for change.
By Elizabeth Chorney-Booth
While no two cancer experiences will ever be the same, individuals and families who have gone through a cancer journey are almost universally changed by the disease. We know how cancer can change a patient physically, but it can also trigger mental, emotional and spiritual transformations. Priorities might shift, family relationships may evolve and plans for the future are often rewritten. Some changes may be unwelcome, while others can help build a sense of purpose. These are stories of how cancer can transform us.
Transforming purpose: Arbaiza Jamaluddin
When Arbaiza Jamaluddin was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer in December 2022, she was shocked. A routine mammogram the previous year had come back clear, but, after returning to her home in Calgary from a trip to see family in Malaysia, she noticed a swelling under her arm. As the proud mother of two adult children, the infectiously energetic Jamaluddin has always been proactive about her health and quality of life. She could barely fathom that cancer spread into her lymph nodes so shortly after a healthy scan.
“I was in shock,” she says. “I had to ask my doctor if she was sure she was talking about me.”
Despite the aggressiveness of Jamaluddin’s disease, she successfully underwent chemotherapy, radiation and surgery, and was declared cancer-free within a year of her initial diagnosis. Even though her course of treatment was relatively short, it brought major changes to her life. Not only was her treatment painful and emotionally taxing, but it also made her long black hair fall out just days after her first chemotherapy session, altering her appearance significantly. Thankfully, she was strong enough to attend her son’s wedding in Montreal, but she needed the help of a wheelchair to get there.
Still, Jamaluddin remains an extremely positive and extroverted person. She’s been able to use the support from her family, health-care providers and mental health services to stay optimistic and rebuild her life in survivorship. While cancer didn’t necessarily change the core of her nature, it ultimately amplified her positivity and optimism as she used those aspects of her personality to propel herself towards a healthy survivorship.
“Cancer happens. I had to accept that and figure out how to overcome it,” she says. “I love people and their energy helped me to heal.”
Jamaluddin channelled that energy into creating a post-cancer community with other survivors to heal both her body and her soul. She participates in several cancer-related initiatives, dedicating herself to post-cancer yoga programs and various charity events while engaging in philanthropy campaigns with the Alberta Cancer Foundation. She’s still busy with her family and career in the field of information privacy, but honouring other Albertans on their own cancer journeys has given her a new sense of purpose.
“I don’t want to take what happened to me as a victim,” she says. “I want to wear a cape and be a hero. I want to inspire people.
Transforming legacy: Phil Croteau
Like many people in his generation, Phil Croteau worked hard to save for his retirement. After losing his father and triplet sister to cancer and watching his triplet brother survive prostate cancer, this Calgarian, now in his mid-60s, never took life for granted and worked hard to modify his diet and exercise regime to get in good health to enjoy his golden years.
So, when Croteau himself was unexpectedly diagnosed with terminal gastrointestinal cancer in 2023, he not only had to face his mortality, but also apply perspective to what would happen to his life savings, with which he was expecting to fuel a long and enjoyable retirement.
“I worked for 40 years, hoping to maybe have a 20- or 25-year retirement to enjoy. Then, just a few years into retirement, I was told I had cancer,” he says. “So, I’ve now got to evaluate what to do with the assets I had saved for retirement.”
Croteau is currently undergoing immunotherapy treatment, which will not provide a cure, but is successfully extending his quality of life and life expectancy. While his cancer treatment has been physically taxing, he still enjoys walking in the park near his house, chatting with neighbours and spending time with his dog, Oreo, who he affectionately refers to as his “health advocate.”
While he has joy and purpose in his retired life, he’s had to shift his retirement from his original plans, including travel and developing long-term hobbies. Though Croteau doesn’t have children, he wants to take care of his family, leaving as much as possible to his surviving siblings, while also providing care for Oreo. Since his savings were organized to pay out over the long term, Croteau reorganized his estate planning to maximize his tax benefits, leading him to philanthropy.
After attending an Alberta Cancer Foundation Tax Saving Seminar, Croteau made the decision to donate a portion of his securities to the OWN.CANCER campaign to generate tax credits to help manage his tax obligations, and, additionally to direct funds from his will. It’s a win-win situation, allowing his legacy to benefit both his loved ones and others who are facing the disease that has so deeply affected his family.
“When I went to the Alberta Cancer Foundation presentation, I learned that one in two people would be touched by cancer one way or the other,” he says. “If I make a donation of a philanthropic nature, I can’t think of a better result than trying to impact something that touches so many people.”
Croteau extends his thanks for all the “amazing care provided at the Calgary South Health Campus, as well as all the wonderful staff” at the Tom Baker Cancer Centre.
Helping transform families: Dr. Fiona Schulte
Cancer has a profound impact on those who experience it first-hand, but it also alters the lives of those closest to patients. This is especially true for children with a parent, sibling or other close relative experiencing cancer. Childhood is a time of intense emotional and psychological development. When the added stress and fear that comes from cancer is thrown into the mix, the aftermath can last a lifetime, even if the family member in question comes out of the process cancer-free.
“This will transform a family permanently,” says Dr. Fiona Schulte, an associate professor in the department of oncology at the University of Calgary’s Cumming School of Medicine, who also works as a psychologist supporting families grappling with a cancer diagnosis at the Alberta Children’s Hospital. “There is no going back to the way things were before cancer.”
Schulte, who lost her own mother to cancer when she was in her 20s, says that the disruption of schedules and unpredictability of treatment and test results can be difficult for kids and teens to deal with, especially while also facing the fear of potentially losing a family member. From that perspective, cancer can affect every aspect of family life, but Schulte says there are ways to mitigate longterm negative effects. The most critical thing, she says, is to be absolutely honest with children and not shy away from using the word “cancer” when describing a family member’s illness.
While discussions need to be age-appropriate — younger children require less information and details than teenagers — bringing a child into the fold builds trust and a feeling of safety. Schulte says that some of the kids she works with may like to observe chemotherapy treatment to diffuse the mystery of where Mom or Dad is going every week. From there, maintain as predictable a schedule as possible and ensure children always feel like they’re a priority. Doing so, combined with giving space for kids to process feelings, can help build healthy psychological habits that will follow them into adulthood.
“Transformation in the context of cancer sounds negative and daunting, but it doesn’t have to be that way,” Schulte says. “It can bring a family together and teach positive coping skills in the face of something that is traumatic and scary. Honesty and transparency are really important.”
